Mediation is an alternative way of handling conflict resolution that doesn’t involve the high cost and extended amount of time that is typical when a case goes to trial. It helps to resolve conflicts in a more timely and cost efficient manner with the help of a professional mediator. Mediators are usually able to resolve conflicts using much more creative strategies and methods than judges or lawyers would be able to because of the restrictions that they are bound by that the mediators aren’t.
Why would this method then be better for the children involved in the conflict than a court case? Mediators are trained to see past the obvious issues in a case to get to the deeper underlying issues that usually aren’t discussed. This skill works well with children who have most likely either been told what to tell the mediator, or have concerns that they will disappoint a parent that they look up to. Also, this skill helps the mediator look past unimportant issues such as that the child want to eat pizza for breakfast and one or the other parent won’t let them.
Mediators can also be very patient and are willing to keep confidences so that the children feel more secure in talking to the mediator. If the child doesn’t want their parents to know something they said, for instance, the mediator can keep their confidence. In doing this, the child feels like they can trust the mediator, and are more willing to talk to them and give them information that normally they wouldn’t be willing to divulge to a lawyer or judge.
Another reason that mediation may be a better solution in a divorce or child custody case, is that the children are already feeling vulnerable and upset that their parents aren’t going to be living together any longer. A long drawn out court case could end up confusing the children and making them believe that perhaps their parents will stay together after all, while their living situation is not secure and constantly changing. With mediation, the dispute is resolved much quicker and would give the children more stability in knowing that their living situation after the dispute has been resolved is much more permanent.
With mediation, the children feel like they are much more a part of what is going on with their parents and they feel as though they have a say in what happens to them instead of being stuck on the sidelines with all the decisions being made for them. There are of course cases in which mediation would not be the best solution when children are involved, such as in cases of child abuse or domestic violence, but for most other cases it is a much quicker, money-saving alternative that gives the children more peace of mind and stability in their lives.
For more information about mediation, visit CAMS Mediation